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Ask a Porn Actress: Why Do Women Do Porn?

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If you ask any random stranger, “Why do women do porn?” They’re likely to tell you something along the lines of Money, Desperation, or Stupidity. And, if you come across a particularly open minded person, they may even offer the more elusive Empowerment. If you’ve ever felt as though these answers somehow fell short, it’s because these one word explanations often do obscure deeper and more interesting truths. Here’s nine additional reasons you might not have thought of:

Radical Acceptance: Unsurprisingly, some women wake up one day and realize in a moment of enlightening clarity that the professional 9-5 job world isn’t for them. The reasons for this could be vast: a need for a certain type of attention, mental illness, boredom, existential dread, etc. For these women, choosing porn is a calculated, meaningful decision. 

Rewriting a narrative: For those with an unusual or traumatic relationship with sex, porn involvement can be an empowering way to reclaim sexual ownership. Whether or not doing porn is empowering would depend on the individual. 

Inability to love: For most psychologically healthy people, sex is an intimate delicacy best served in a loving, trusting relationship. For this reason, it’s baffling why a woman would choose a lifelong career of loveless sex over a future of romantic security. This is like asking why someone using a wheelchair doesn’t just stand up and walk.

Well, because they can’t! The ability to share an emotionally loving, trusting and safe relationship with another person isn’t something everyone can psychologically do (and, as you might suspect, this can be the result of unhealed psychological trauma).

For these women, sex is the closest they can get to filling that emotional need just as using a wheelchair is the closest someone else can get to walking. Unlike many physical injuries which eventually heal with time and rest, untreated psychological injuries and dysfunctions can last a lifetime. If you’ve ever heard about women who ‘confuse sex and love,’ it’s often this type of woman. 

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Addicted to dark sex: Next, there are the women who, after tragically experiencing a combination of arousal and abuse, got hooked on the dangerous high. Like any addiction, the more someone feeds it, the more control it takes over their life. These women are more likely to feature in outrageously degrading porn. 

Loves attention: These women are the classic ‘hot girls’ who, after graduating high school or college, decided that constantly celebrating and showing off their hotness in high school and college was significantly more fun than switching to a boring ‘professional’ job.

These are the women who can’t button up their blouse or wear longer dresses no matter how many times their bosses ask them to. The women who can’t not flirt with their male coworkers. The women who’s favorite indulgence in life is sex energy. Porn for these women is a type of paradise. Not only is maintaining their sexiness part of their job, but they get to post sexy selfies everyday to an audience of lusty, appreciating men. 

The Financial Daredevil: While most people attend college to ensure reliable, lifelong careers, some women (with an entrepreneurial daredevil spirit) know that if they play their cards right, they can make serious bank in the sex industry. Although harder to achieve these days, many women still take their chances. 

The Free Spirit: Although the stigma associated with the sex industry might cause some to worry, others don’t worry at all. Whether you call it stupidity, innocent ignorance, or even masterful Zen, worry is an experience some boycott altogether. For these people, porn is a degree-free means of comfortably paying their bills without having to hold a ‘normal’ job. 

A combination of the above: Life is complicated and some women do porn for an elaborate combination of these reasons.

The Wildcard: Miraculously, there are always wild card exceptions outside the norm. One girl I knew did porn because her mother influenced her to (her mother would accompany her to each of her porn scenes; it was as if the mother secretly wanted to be a porn actress and was living out the dream through her daughter). 

Of the many categories I’ve provided, my story would also be a wildcard story. Summarizing it would be like taking a photo of the moon with a Fujifilm disposable camera. The result would be such a vague disservice to reality that the photo wouldn’t really be worth taking (until I had a better camera!). If you’re interested, feel free to sign up (below) to be notified when my positive and refreshingly thoughtful memoir about love, family, sex (& sex work) becomes available.

What if it Existed?…

A book that was thrilling, refreshingly honest, and a coming of age tale exploring a modern perspective on sex (& sex work), healing, love, and family?

It will soon–don’t miss it! Sign up to be notified when Emily Sahara’s mind-bending bildungsroman memoir (written for the spiritually curious) becomes available!  

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