7 Secrets to Being ‘Good in Bed’ (for Women)

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1. This is 100% serious: Be hydrated! Although few of my female friends have believed me, proper hydration can amp up your sensitivity from a 6/10 to a 10/10. 

In preparation for planned sex, try this: drink at least 8 cups of water per day starting two days before and then 8 cups of water the day of four hours before (this is the formula that works for my body; feel free to experiment to find your own). 

If I don’t hydrate beforehand, I always regret it and mourn how incredible the sex could have been if I’d taken the time to. Furthermore, not only can hydration lead to multiple orgasms, but you might even squirt from the intensity of your orgasmic muscle contractions. 

Side note for those who don’t know: Yes, squirting is real; it’s not pee! Although, a woman can pee while squirting. For those who don’t understand female anatomy, pee comes out of the urethra, a hole/tube above and separate from the vulva (the big hole where the dick goes and where a baby comes out of). 

When a woman squirts, the male can feel the liquid gush around his dick from the inside. Why? Because the liquid isn’t coming from the bladder through the urethra, it’s coming out the vulva. This explanation is also why male porn actors pull out right before a squirting porn actress squirts (so their dick doesn’t ‘block’ the squirt).

If you’re interested, you can find more articles toting the potency of this underestimated ‘body hack’ in Time and the Daily Star

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2. Be better than clean. To wow your partner, follow this two-step process: first, use a high-quality, exfoliating body wash.

Then, massage a (non-stinky) body or face oil onto your private areas after you dry off. Avoid coconut oil; it often has a tangy, cheesy smell you don’t want percolating down there. 

Many body oils will have a tangy, cheesy smell (even the floral ones), so you might have to hunt extensively for the rare, clean-smelling one. One perfectly scented oil is Pixi Skintreats Rose Oil. This oil has the perfect clean, non-tangy, and non-cheesy scent.

Be careful not to get any inside your vulva or labia to avoid any irritation (or possible yeast infection). 

And, in case you’re wondering, use the oil directly on your bum, too. This way, you won’t feel self-conscious in any position (and once your partner discovers that you’re truly clean everywhere, you might just receive a face-sitting request). Investing in a quality oil will provide freshness for hours.

3. Be passionate. The fire behind good sex is passion. Although one can have the best techniques and toys, nothing can substitute passion. If you really want to be great in bed, only have sex with people you legitimately want to have sex with. 

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4. Let go. Some women are embarrassed about the way they look or sound during sex. But to your partner, the hottest thing you can do is express the full depth of your ecstacy.

5. Be honest about what feels good and what doesn’t. If you’re not sure how to go about this, smile and say, “It feels even better when you do this.” If you don’t express your likes and dislikes honestly, it’ll be awkward when you finally come clean. Additionally, they’ll be disappointed to realize you’ve been faking it and will wonder why you didn’t speak up sooner. 

6. Explore new positions. Some positions will feel better than others. If a position isn’t working for the anatomy of you and your partner, experiment to find one that does. If you’re expressive, your partner will likely be able to tell if you’re really into it or not.

7. Be open and receptive. If you’re comfortable, don’t be afraid to enjoy every aspect of the experience. If his flexed bicep looks delicious–squeeze it. If his thighs look alluringly masculine–caress them. If his sweaty neck is tantalizing–kiss it. Take it all in; sex is the unique opportunity to revel in everything you love about the opposite sex/your partner.  

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